More on the house front. We had a 15+ foot section of our guttering fall on our air conditioner. Awesome!!! It is totally something we could get the materials and fix ourselves but once again an 8 month pregnant women and a very over-worked man with little attention to detail need to do. So that is on the "call list" today. 

Oh and our 3 year old got diarrhea in his sleep last night making the room a toxic spell area that needed immediate attention . Our hazard suits were still at the cleaners from last stomach bug two weekends ago. So we went in and tackled the disaster. Although both of us had weak stomachs because we too had faced round #2 of the stomach bug this weekend. Oh well. It is always kinda rewarding when we work together as a team. I have got he greatest husband and my kids have the greatest Daddy.



Foster has begun to talk....a little. He LOVES to say " LOOK LOOK LOOK" and gets really excited when we acknowledge that he says it. So much so that he has started to say look and hold his hands up for everything he doesn't have a word for . Which is a lot . He is also saying juice and "Hutson" which is referring to his brother Hudson. Oh what else.......oh and he is working on milk. 

Preparing for baby.....Nesting.....Manic cleaning.......Severe bossiness........call it what you may. I have made a list of all the things I want to have done before Miss Zoe comes. And for some reason I believe that our baby will not feel at home unless we got our basement storage room cleaned up?!?! Ya I know this is crazy pregnant lady stuff. But really my reason is that I am going to really start stocking up on groceries and household items for the time I will be out of commission. And with all this surplus I think it important to have a storage room that is organized so that ,one, I have a place to put all of this neatly and two so when I help over I can direct them to those things without too much confusion , hopefully. What crazy things did you do in the name of "nesting" please reassure me that I am not crazy........

March madness is here..........Or are you into another sport? Well get a 20% off and free shipping on any "Daddy got/scored...." maternity tee using coupon code DAD20 all week March 8th- March 14th. And you never know what other things you might score big on so be sure to follow Simply Preggo on Facebook and Twitter!!

                                                



Until next time......lots of love 
Aprile

I need to get my resume and cover letter together to apply for a teaching position today. I'm not sure how that's going to all work, since the job is in another state. However, I know that I am highly qualified for the position and come with a lot of wonderful experience to offer the program. Can't wait to see where this road takes us.


I have wonderful friends who have provided a great opportunity. The kicker is that my wonderful husband is part of our state's Army National Guard and will deploying to Afghanistan in the next year, so it is unlikely that they will release him to transfer to a new state. Do I take a job one state over despite the fact that my husband will most likely have to stay in our current state during the week prior to the unit's deployment to Afghanistan? If I stay here, he has so much additional training on the books, that he will be gone a majority of the next year.

I'm reading this amazingly interesting book called The Myth of a Christian Nation by Gregory Boyd that is providing so much food for thought about the current mix of religion and politics.

It's March! The kids' birthdays are this month, and I haven't decided what to do for them. Are they old enough to really enjoy and remember a big party with friends? Should we just make each birthday an individually special day? If I'm going to do a party, I had better move fast to reserve a date, get invitations out, party bags made, etc... Hmmm, I'm not so sure. However, my almost-4-year-old got in the car the other day and informed me who was and who wasn't invited to his birthday party!

I need to arrange for babysitters this week.

I have to review my lesson for a GRE class I'm teaching tonight. It's my first official GRE lesson, and I'm a bit nervous because I hate to make any mistakes. Perfectionism sucks!

I need to start making a list of things to fix around the house if we are going to list it for sale soon. I'm dreading the process of packing and moving and transitioning!

Why is my daughter up so early in the morning, and why did God bless me with a child who is a morning person when I can't function for about an hour after emerging from the land of slumber?

My good friend Geri and her family are planning to move to the Dallas area in a few years. That would be nice to be close to them. I need to call her back this morning.

When am I going to grocery shop this week? Grocery shopping has become such a production now with coupons and menus that I have to schedule it out on the calendar and hope to go without any little children. However, I have a great binder system now worked out for my coupons that saves me lots of money!

I hope my friends' house in Houston gets leased today. They have been trying to sell it for 8 months. What a blessing for them that would be!

I must get opinions on my cover letter for my resume today.

I'm glad we changed to a deal of the week at Simply Preggo instead of a deal of the day. I think that will give people more time to use the coupon code. This week (March 1st-7th) our deal is the "Practice Makes Pregnant" maternity t-shirt; get 20% off the price and free shipping with coupon code PRAC20.

Off to have more random thoughts!

Happy Tuesday!
Serina

I want the best for my children....that is a given , right? And the best would be a great education, but how do I go about that? We don't have unlimited funds for private schools nor do I feel that it is in my best interest to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on my child's primary school education ( this is K-12). Especially when we have college, retirement, cars, and whole child experiences to consider in our budget. So with that said and for the purpose of this blog, private school is not an option for us. That is a whole other discussion.

But here is what I want to discuss.......HOMESCHOOL. Yes, this IS Aprile. For those of you are somewhat familiar with me might know that I am not the best student. I don't necessarily love school , so for me to consider this is, this is a rather shocking idea. But since having children as most of you are personally aware ......things have changed. No I don't wish to return to school anytime and I don't get excited about school supplies or anything you "good" students do. However I LOVE learning , but most importantly I really , really, really enjoy experiencing. And it is extremely important to me that my children feel the same way. Now understand that I know this might be something I have no control or influence....but I hope I can take some steps to help it grow. With that said, how can I make my children's school an experience versus an obligation or an unstimulated time in their life. How do I encourage a love for learning. One way I have learned through parenting to get your child to do anything you might want is to model. Be an example. So if I were to put my child in school would they really get to see an example of someone experiencing learning? Don't get me wrong here I know some really great teachers and I know there are some out there , but do they really have time in their schedule to really model excitement? And would it not build better bonds within my family to experience it TOGETHER. If they are learning about Gettysburg would it not make more of an impact to go to Gettysburg? Of course we don't have all the time and resources to make corresponding vacations/field trips with every lesson but it is certainly more feasible for us as a family than as a school. Could the statement "a family who learns together , stays together" be true? Although the opposite would not be an absolute either :)

When Brandon and I were dating we made a promise that whoever was making more money when we had our first child would continue to stay employed while the other parent was to stay home. Well Brandon out-earned me by a LOOOOONG shot. So I dove into stay-at-home-dom with all my heart and time. And I try to make that choice each morning and remain joyful about it. I love my job , I have no desire to go back to work . I feel completely fulfilled doing what I do. I know a lot of this comes from the support I get from Brandon, he wants me to be at home as much as I want to be at home. So if I love this job as much as I do it makes sense that I would not want to have my children go away from me. And I sometimes feel that it is my job to train up my child and not somebody else.

But, and it is a two-pronged but. Where would they develop those all important social skills. Although I want my child to learn at his/her own pace is not also important to sometimes feel the pressure of healthy competition? What about some encouragement from an outside source, can I be as objective as a teacher can. Would I really be preparing my kids for community and different job environments if I really never gave them the opportunity to work together in those ever so painful " group projects" because really isn't life , especially family-life, just one big "group project". Although we ( The Millers) are lucky? enough to live in a community that is pretty diverse and offers plenty alternatives to traditional public school is that really the best way to spend our school hours? I feel already stretched in the terms of time it takes me to run to appointments, clean house and meet with some very important-to-me playgroups, how would running my children to different "home-school experiences" really be the home-school environment I wanted to create? There would be gas money, childcare expenses and activity fees we would have to consider and would we not be right back at the "cost" of education argument?

And then there is the second prong......me. I know my husband loves me because he really knows me. As mentioned earlier I am not a great student........probably not even a good student. So would I really be the best teacher from my kids? I have been known to not complete things (please hold the laughs and amens) and much to my disappointment this is not just historical information it is also a fact of life for me. I am often called a perfectionist, but I argue does a perfectionist complete things? So I consider my self a "quitter" yes, I do. I will start something with grand plans yes I make everything harder than it ever needs to be. And then when I start to get fatigued or frustrated that I will not be able to do it the way I want or envisioned it I quit. So I really do not wish my children to learn or model this behavior. But I sometimes wonder would this not be a great opportunity to re-learn how to do things? Can this be the time to change things? With all of this said , how did YOU decide to or not to home school? Do you think I am crazy, do you see flaws in my ways :)?

I want to hear it!! Have a great week!!

Don't forget to check out our Maternity tee Deal of the Week..."Practice makes Pregnant" use coupon code PRAC20 to get 20% off that tee and receive free shipping during he week of March 1st-7th.

See ya later

Aprile

A Few Favorites for Friday

So today I am not feeling great and am having difficulty drumming up some enthusiasm. So this post will be short and sweet. I wanted to share with you all some of my new favorite blogs and hopefully you will share with me some of yours. Some of my criteria for enjoying blogs are things that make my life simpler. I like blogs that have giveaways because who doesn't love free things? I also enjoy sites that provide coupons and deal match ups because I love saving money. Also I really like sites that are encouraging and uplifting. And anything that gets me energized about being a Stay-at-home-Mom and wife are always a plus. Please remember these are a FEW of my favorites and are not in any order!!! I would love for you to share with me your blog and any others you don't miss a post.

of course......www.simplypreggo.com Use coupon code WS20 today, February 26th and get 20% off the maternity tee " Watermelon Smuggler" and also get free shipping!

my blog mentor SuperJenn- right now she is giving away a coupon binder! Be sure to enter!

I have been following Coupon Geek for awhile .... I would say I kinda have a blog crush.....she has SOOO much on her blog! She is having a Simply Preggo T-Shirt giveaway!!!

Some other sites that are hosting Simply Preggo T=Shirt giveaways.........She Saved , Couponing for 4 , Coupon Gal. All have plenty of things to enhance any one's lives!!

I was recently introduced to the website/ blog Raising Olives. She is beyond amazing . She home-schools her 9 children, is pregnant with her 10th and has time to knit!!!! Check it out.

Not only do I love the title but the Untrained Housewife is a hoot to read and peruse!!

I hope you all have a great weekend! I will see you all on Monday. Be sure to check here on Saturday to catch Serina's newest blog!!!

Much love and happiness,

Aprile

When my first child, Aiden, was born, I fell instantly in love with that beautiful little baby boy. He had gorgeous, big, blue eyes and seemed perfect in every way. I couldn't believe that I was a mom, and I wanted to do everything right for that little being that was so tiny and vulnerable.


We took Aiden home and settled into life. He was not a good nurser, but I persisted and fought and struggled, and finally, he got the hang of it...a little too much. Then, he became attached to me as his pacifier. He was not a good sleeper, but I researched and struggled and persisted and finally found the one method that seemed to work tolerably well for him, which was the Happiest Baby on the Block 5S method (swaddle, side, suck, swing, and SWADDLE!). His little swaddled, pacied, butt slept in the cradle swing for the first 3 months. Loud noises sent him into a tailspin, so our house became almost silent, especially for those tiny 20-minute naps that he would take. He didn't like baths, but I figured that some babies didn't. He detested tummy time. He didn't like being on the floor very much at all. I wasn't adding everything up at that point, because I figured that all of these intense struggles were just a part of newborn life, but I was exhausted. I never got a solid night's sleep. I felt like I had to constantly work to control the environment just to make it through the day, and he was not very flexible when it came to going anywhere, especially if there was a large crowd of people.

In my exhaustion, I started reading everything possible on baby sleep and parenting. I had a pretty solid foundation of child development through my degree program as a secondary educator, but this was beyond the normals I learned. I developed a very solid and strict routine for Aiden, which helped to keep his world steady, but babies change so much during the first year of life, that I constantly had to tweak the routine to accommodate for his growth and development. We no longer went to church on a regular basis because he couldn't make it through the service in the nursery without a fit that would result in my little number up on the screen. Chris, my husband, was often gone on the weekends due to his service in the Oklahoma National Guard. I didn't work outside the home, and my sister-in-law, Aprile, who I run Simply Preggo with, was on bed rest with her first pregnancy, so it was just me and Aiden home alone most time. It was pretty lonely, but I figured that he would grow out of this and that this phase was well worth it to be a good mommy to this precious little boy.

Eventually, we settled into our version of normal until he was around 18 months. In the fall of 2007, I decided that it was about time that we venture out into the world a bit and start to meet other children and other mommies. I enrolled Aiden in gymnastics in October and started calling around to fine a MDO program that had openings. Gymnastics was a mommy-and-me program, and he was a clingy one. He didn't like to participate in the musical warm-up, wouldn't jump on the trampolines like the other kids, wouldn't climb the ladders, wouldn't jump into the foam pit, and had a lot of trouble climbing the ropes and walls. He would tolerate the swing only if it didn't go too high or too fast. I just wrote it off as a result of his personality; I figured he was just a more cautious kid who would eventually try most of these things as he warmed up to them. It was just one more thing that I needed to help him through while the other mommies stood in a circle and chatted while their munchkins ran head first into the foam pit, jumped on the trampoline while throwing a ball, and giggled as they flew down the zip line. I felt so isolated and questioned whether I was doing something to cause it. Did I shelter him too much? Did I keep it too quiet at home? Did I keep him on too much of a schedule?

Another clue came with his eating habits. He completely rejected baby food at the age of 9 months and would only eat things that were dry. He wouldn't eat noodles, soup, applesauce, etc..., but he didn't have the chompers to eat anything too tough. To say the least, his diet became extremely restricted. Again, I questioned my parenting. Did I not expose him to enough flavors? Did I introduce the baby food in the wrong order?

Also, in October, my husband was deployed to Iraq after a year of being gone a lot for pre-deployment training. I was on my own to deal with this precious little bundle of bewilderment! I, of course, started reading everything I could get my hands on, but I was exhausted. I was trying to run two fledgling businesses from home and take care of everything added to my plate with the absence of my husband. I was also 4 months pregnant and knew that I needed to get something under control before I also added a newborn to the mix.

I finally got him into a MDO and program and figured it would be great for him to get around other kids and exposed to other authority figures. The first day of MDO was a nightmare. He threw a fit in music class and fell on the floor; he swung at anyone who got close to him. The teacher took his paci from him, his one comfort object, and told me that he shouldn't have it at 18 months old. She also implied that he didn't have good discipline at home and was a behavior problem. I left that place that afternoon feeling degraded, less of a mom, and pissed off as all hell. We both cried all the way home. Once at home, I immediately withdrew him from their program and began the search anew. I was floored that I was treated that way, and I was floored that a person, supposedly trained to deal with young children, could be so callous and narrow-minded.

I went back on the hunt for a program that he would be happy in. I was aiming for just one day a week to get his feet wet and give me a bit of time to get all the things accomplished at home that I couldn't with him there because he had such great attention needs and slept so little. I found one pretty quickly near our home, and they were much better with Aiden, but he very rarely made it all day. Most Wednesday's I was called by 11am to come and pick him up because he was inconsolable. The level of activity and noise created with all the children was just too much for him to handle. He would throw himself on the floor and bash his forehead repeatedly into the floor until he created knots, or he would pop the inside of his mouth with his fingers until there was blood everywhere. As I've learned now and instinctively knew then, the best way to treat his meltdowns was to put him in a safe place and let it run its course. If anyone touched him once he started melting down, he would completely lose it. They were unwilling and unable to give him that kind of attention. I realize too that they didn't have the knowledge of this disorder needed to deal with or understand his needs. They labeled him a behavior problem and started questioning his home environment.

In the mean time at home, he wasn't sleeping. Chris's departure on the deployment threw Aiden into an anxiety-ridden tailspin that resulted in only 3-4 hours of sleep a night with a 1-hour nap during the day if I was lucky. The only thing that got me through those days was Love and Logic techniques, which work really well with SPD kids, and an intense feeling that I somehow owed it to him to compensate for his daddy's absence. I knew it wasn't his fault that he reacted the way he did, but I had to help him form healthier copes to the frustration than the physical reaction. He didn't speak much at this time, so I know that he had very little outlet for his nervous system meltdowns. However, my desperation was beginning to build.

Around Thanksgiving, one of our internet businesses that was doing very well came to a screeching halt because we found out we had a distributor that was illegally selling his products. That created quite a bit of additional financial and emotional stress, but I didn't have the time or energy to sue them or fight anything, so I just let it go. In December, during an ultrasound to check Ryleigh's growth, they found fluid on her kidneys. We were immediately sent to a pediatric urologist who explained the range of complications that could happen after her birth. It ranged from it resolving on its own to needing immediate surgery. The unknowns just increased the stress level at home. Then, in January, I went into pre-term labor at 24 weeks and had to be put on bed rest. That led to a revolving door of helpers coming in and out of the house to take over the household duties, and for a child that doesn't handle change and transition well, Aiden responded as expected with extreme agitation. My husband was then sent home on a Red Cross message when I was about 28 weeks temporarily to assist at home until Ryleigh was born.

In the midst of all of that, while Chris was home, his sister suddenly and mysteriously passed away. It was one more thing to rock our world.

We survived bed rest, and I made it to 37 weeks. Ryleigh was born via c-section, and two weeks later Chris was headed back to Iraq. However, when Ryleigh was about 4 days old, Chris's grandmother also passed away. During those 12 weeks or so, all I could do was try and maintain for Aiden. We weren't making any headway and life was about to get even more complicated before they ever got better...

To be continued....

To learn more about Sensory Processing Disorder go to:

http://www.spdfoundation.net/aboutspd.html

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/

The Out of Sync Child by Carol Kranowitz

http://www.amazon.com/Out-Sync-Child-Recognizing-Processing/dp/0399531653/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267040448&sr=8-1

How do you decide whether public school or private school is right for you? This is one of my current debates. I know that it is a very individual decision that only a parent can make for his/her family, but how did you decide? As a product of public schools and as a former public school educator, I always assumed that, when I had kids, they would go to public school. However, as my son is about to start pre-K next fall, I find myself debating what the right decision is.


The first and most glaring consideration is price. Can we or are we willing to pay around $1000 a month for each child's education for the next 14-18 years? If I invested that kind of money over the next 20 years, what kind of impact would that have on our retirement fund? Would it be better to leave our children with a firm and glorious financial legacy, or would it be better to stretch our financial lives now to fund private school? In addition to that, we have been following Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman for the last few years and are trying to get rid of some old college and business debt; work on paying off our car, home, and land; and build a solid emergency fund. The $1000 a month would help us achieve those goals in the next 5 years instead of drawing that out indefinitely. On the other hand, does that price gain you something invaluable?

The gains of continuing with our current private school are many. Aiden currently goes to Keystone Adventure School and Farm in Edmond, OK, and I couldn't be happier with them. They educate the whole child. Aiden goes outside daily, he works with animals, his projects are student-driven, he participates in art daily, he has access to a Brain Gym for sensory input, and he loves it. They are small enough that they can give him very individualized attention. Aiden has sensory processing disorder, and they work with him, while pushing him in an appropriate way to grow and develop. Ultimately, I know that he is taken care of at Keystone. They are like family, and it's very easy to leave my child in their capable hands. When Aiden loses it because his nervous system is unbalanced and he needs a quiet space to recoup, will the public school educator be willing to go to those lengths? Are all the things that I value at Keystone, things he won't get in public school? If public school doesn't provide these things, are they not aspects that can be supplemented at home? Am I willing to actively take that on if I send him to public school?

Ryleigh, my almost 2-year old, is a much different story. I think she will thrive in any environment. She is the type that is independent and rolls with whatever comes her way. She is incredibly social and the life of the party. I don't worry about her so much, but I still want her to have the best education possible. Additionally, her entry into the normal school system is still 2-3 years away, and our financial situation might be completely different at that time.

Even in the best of circumstances, questions arise. By sending my children to private school, am I shielding them from the normal world where the majority of children reside? Will they grow up in an entitled world and lack exposure to the diversity that exists in public school?

As a former high-school teacher in the public schools, I worry about a few things in our current educational system. The first is that far too many students fall through the cracks and feel like failures when they are not. Our current schools are primarily set up for one type of learner and for one pace of learning. However, almost all of us know that each of our children and students are vastly different. Some people need more time to process and organize information, some get bored easily, some need something physical to do while working, some need complete quiet to work well, some need noise, etc... I could go on and on about the students that I saw in my 10th grade English class who had already labeled themselves. We expect children to be great at everything, even though we don't ask our lawyer what kind of grades he made in geometry. I can't tell you the number of students who could be brought to tears by a "B" or the number of students who just didn't care.  Public school teachers are not given enough training on the different kinds of learners and how to accommodate those differences practically in the classroom.

The second thing that I worry about is class size. Because of budget issues, especially in Oklahoma, classes are packed full. I remember routinely having 30-33 students in each of my classes, which is way too many to individualize for. If you have a quiet student, they often are forgotten because there are simply too many things to keep up with. Is it unreasonable to expect smaller class sizes, or is that just something that my kids will have to cope with and hope for the best. Teachers are far too taxed in our current system to fully give every student the ideal amount of energy.

Finally, I worry about how test- centered our schools have become. With the advent of NCLB legislation, schools have increasingly moved to increased standardized testing and streamlining curriculum with benchmark exams, which means that they expect every child to be at the same point at the same time of the year. No longer is the teacher able to slow down or speed up based on the pace and ability level of a specific class. Arbitrary standards have increased and assessment that doesn't reveal the whole picture is the standard of practice. Do I want my children to feel like cattle in this kind of system, or is it all just a part of being a member of this society?

In order to pay for my children's tuition, I could go back to work full-time, but that would take me away from them much more than I already am. Is that worth it, or is stability and consistency at home worth more than a private-school education? I know that none of us, as parents, will ever make all the right decisions. I know that no one decision is right for every family, but how do you decide? What is the answer? There are millions of stories to support either side, and we are blessed to have a free public schooling system in this country.

I just don't know. I feel even more conflicted after writing this piece because I finally put my thoughts down in writing. HELP!!

How do you decide whether to have more children? I'm caught in this never-ending argument with myself on this topic. There are so many reasons not to have any more children, but there are so many reasons to have more children. How did you make your decisions?

In regards to having more children, I always expected to have 3 or 4 kiddos. I love the idea of a bigger family that grows together, and I can envision a time when our little family expands with in-laws and grandchildren. I love thinking about raising a large, supportive family that loves to spend time together. However, more children equates to a need for more resources if I expect to raise them according to our current standard of living. I grew up in poverty most of my life and don't want my kids to ever have to experience some of the embarrassing and painful things that I did. Then I think that it would really do no harm for them to have struggle a bit; it might even be harmful to provide so much for my children and make their little lives as easy as they are. Will they be spoiled? Will they take for granted what they have? So, in the end, do financial arguments against having a large family really hold any water? Will I look back 10 years from now and really regret not having more children for the mere fact that I didn't think we had the resources to financially raise them according to some arbitrary bar? I won't even get started on the cost of private school education! : 0 Of course, financial reasons are not the only ones to contemplate.

What about space? Most homes are designed for the 4-person family. Most tables at restaurants are designed for the 4-person group. Most vehicles fit 4 people better than 5. Should those seemingly minor details play a role in this kind of a permanent and serious decision? Would we really "run out of room" as many people have suggested in our 2000 sq ft suburban home if we added one more little being? What about kids that share a room? Sharing a room used to be the standard operating procedure for families a generation ago, but now it seems as though people are aghast if you suggest that your kids share a room. Can two car seats and a booster fit in the back of a standard sedan? Will our kids suffer if they don't have a bucket seat of their own complete with video entertainment system? Nevertheless, even if I justify all the space issues, there are still more questions to answer.

I also love watching my children grow and develop! Child development is a sincere passion of mine. I was a secondary English teacher for many years and am now still in the teaching realm. I truly enjoy the process of children learning and growing; I love to watch their personalities develop. I love being involved with my children's growth, and I enjoy being with them as they discover new things each day. However, is being a "mommy" all I ever want to do with my life. I understand that it is one of the most important and fulfilling things that I will ever do, but I also enjoy working. I have been home with my kids while they are young, and I only work part-time while my husband is home. Is that enough? Having another child would further delay my entry back into the full-time work force. Am I okay with that, or am I just being impatient? Time is so relative. Will I look back and kick myself for rushing this process so much? It's like the old saying that the "grass is always greener on the other side." Also, as much as I love child development and kids, I really do not enjoy the 6 months to 2 1/2 year old age groups, which I am in the midst of with my daughter. I have very little patience with the impatience and irrational behavior of that age group! :) I really love when they get much closer to 3 and start to develop the skill set to listen, follow directions, and settle into their personalities. I also love the freedom that you have with older kids to just go if you wish without packing the world into the car, scheduling around multiple naps, and worrying about a feeding schedule. Do I want to take that trek back down the baby lane? When you are in the midst of baby land, it feels like it will never end, but I know that quickly it will all be a distant memory whether or not I have another 1 or 2 kids.

Then, as a military family, we also have to factor deployments into the picture. Chris was in the midst of the Iraq deployment at the end of my pregnancy with Ryleigh. The stress of the deployment may have been what threw me into pre-term labor at 24 weeks. I was put on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy and could not take care of our home by myself. Also, the newborn stage with a toddler also dealing with separation anxiety was a nightmare. Will it be different next time? Can I survive another year deployment with another baby? At the same time, will the military dictate how many children I have? Will deployments alter the composition of my family? I know that Chris is scheduled to deploy to Afghanistan next May. Do we try and hurry up and have a baby prior to deployment or wait until after, 3 years from now?

I also have a new complication to add to the discussion. I am three weeks out from an ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage. Are the increased risks of another ectopic pregnancy worth the risks of trying again? Emotionally, can I handle never being pregnant again after such a loss?

Finally, I currently have one girl and one boy, so the gender of the baby doesn't matter to me specifically. I am not in a situation where I want to try again to have a baby of the opposite gender.

In short, how do you decide whether to have more children? What are the factors that really matter? Do you ever know if the decision you make is the right one??